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Monday, March 11, 2013

Dawn Devotions: Day One

So coming out of a 72 hour Christian “retreat” experience called Trinity Great Banquet, I am all jazzed up, high on faith, and riding the wave of ambition and change. Mob-mentality moved me to action, got me outside my comfort zone, and forced me to look with a critical eye at my own faith life.
I could talk about this experience for days and write a novel about the experience, but at the moment I have stepped out of that haven of cultivated Christian fellowship and study and back into my real world life, and there are- of course- forces pulling from all directions and lots of work to get caught up on…but a small piece of the story is asking to be shared, and a bit of accountability is in order: thus Dawn Devotions had to be hammered out raw and right now. And then sleep.
At the end of the weekend experience, I was asked what I was going to do with what I learned…one of the biggest things laid on my heart this weekend is the uncomfortable fact that my prayer life is…lacking, at best.
I pray all the time. I pray with my kids. I pray for myself, my family, my friends, and people in need. I have a stack of devotionals that I read when I have time- I’m a busy working mom, and I get it in where I can fit it in. Sure, there are some days I skip out when I have deadlines to meet, and I usually flip past the additional scripture references, and sometimes I only get a page into my chapter before I drift off in bed at night, but hey- I have a lot on my plate, I already hardly sleep, and I’m doing the best I can, and that’s all I can do, right?
Priorities. They’re a tricky thing, yes? Tricky how I trick myself into complacency with the “have to” things and the “need to” tasks and the “when I have the time, I will....”
Intentionality and accountability. That’s all it is, friends.
And so, I find myself fighting the overwhelming temptation to turn off that alarm at 6:01 this morning. A whole hour of sleep sounds a whole lot better than sitting at the kitchen table with a book and bleary eyes, but I drag out. I had a bad attitude: I was a grouchy disciple this morning. I was grumbling, hand in head, yawning and cracking the book and telling myself that maybe I was just being too overzealous- I’d tone it down, start small: surely 15 minutes in the Word and 45 back in the Bed would be a good start to this new idea. I’d go to bed earlier tonight, try harder tomorrow.
And then I glanced at the next page and saw this random verse in Ephesians 5 jump out at me:
“Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
Hmm…was I just yawning? Ok, ok, I hear You…
So this is it: Dawn Devotions, Day One. I’m listening.